EXERCISING

You say "exercise," I say, "wash your mouth!" I run every morning….to the bathroom. I hate anything that even resembles exercise. I get guilted into an exercise class from time to time (the longest was a personal trainer that Jennifer and I went to. She’s been going for years – I lasted four weeks) and I’ve purchased numerous workout tapes (which are still in their shrink wrap) but I’ve never stuck with any program, ever.

I’ve owned a Life Cycle and a tread mill. Probably put in a total of 60 minutes on each then gave them away after about five years collecting dust.

Jennifer talked me into taking a boxing class with her – I even bought red boxing gloves (not pink like most of the sissy ladies – what kind of warrior would wear pink boxing gloves?) But I only lasted about four weeks.

I was determined to get on a walking program. I probably stuck with that longer than anything I’ve ever tried. But quit that too and have no desire to start again.

The last time I went to an aerobics class, I bent, I twisted, I jumped up and down and sweat a ton and by the time I got my leotard on, the class was over.

It is not that I don’t have the time to exercise. I just don’t want to.

So, yeah, summer is here and I'm not in swimsuit shape. So what. Even if I lost 40 pounds nobody would want to see me in a swimsuit anyway.

Yum. Is that chocolate you're eating? I'll have some.

(Anybody know where this fitness center is? Looks like my kind of place.)